I am virtually alive.
I’ve convinced myself of it, so I might as well be.
I plug in night and day (it’s a better way to play),
and my life quality triples. let me explain:
See, I’m virtually successful with a million virtual Pounds,
and a billion virtual Euros in my swiss bank account.
My virtual real estate is quite a sight to see,
and my virtual yacht takes my mind off my misery.
I’m virtually married, I’m wedded to the game,
and all my cyber lovers turn me on just the same.
I protect her from deletion. She really is my completion.
We rarely ever fight and that helps me treat her right.
We once did virtual counseling…that was strange.
I’m virtually a parent. My kids are Jack and Jill.
It’s fun to watch them playing, dancing, and singing.
I can practically touch them, if you will.
Then it gets a bit exhausting, so I pause them for a while.
Then I press the mess button, and they put away the piles.
“It’s important to raise kids in a tidy environment.” I always say.
I’m virtually religious, I give a generous amount.
There’s a cross hung in my kitchen, and I say prayers to help me out.
I toggled the divine setting to “on”, so I see miraculous events.
They are so close to the real thing, I’m no longer on the fence.
I virtually learned, I have my virtual PhD.
Now I’m basically a genius, so I take it easy.
I’m on a virtual diet and an exercise routine,
Which keeps me virtually in good shape, and my belly fat lean.
My virtual life is wonderful, my virtual friends all say,
as they sip their margaritas
on a beach where the palm trees sway.
One day I wake up and my unvirtual life’s a mess.
But it doesn’t matter,
Because in virtuality I’m a grand success.